"Embezzlement"
03.31.07 (8:10 pm) [edit]
What advice would you give to a woman that thinks her husband is embezzling money from his job? Give your advice and I will forward answers to her, Read her story:
After being married to my husband for 20 years I've recently come to believe he might be embezzling money from the company he works for. Now what a shock and disappointment this was. Actually made me sick to my stomach.
Here's what I found. Multiple blank signed checks from the company he works for along with some recent deposits slips for very large amounts of money deposited into his personal checking account (we have separate accounts). Just writing about this makes me ill. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this with a spouse and what did you do? I have no idea what to do.
There's no one I can talk to about this and I need more evidence of some sort to find out what is going on. All I know is that his spending habits have changed dramatically in the past year. He has purchased several large ticket items that he really could not afford on his salary and paid off many bills as well. When I asked him where he is getting all this money he always says he is a good saver or he has gotten a bonus at work. Not true!
I can't ask him about the checks I found because he would just lie and make up something. Have caught him in lies in the past and he always gets so angry when I confront him with something that I can't imagine what he would do if I told him about the checks I found. And the dumb thing is they were in a place where anyone could find them - it wasn't like I was snooping around.
I am so heartsick and disappointed in him and myself. How could I be married to a man that would possibly do something like this? Should I tell his employer what I found and ask him if it is customary to give employees signed, blank checks to have in their possession? If I contact an attorney what will that entail.
It is so hard for me to even look at my husband I am so disgusted with him because this all makes sense now with all the big spending he has been doing the past year or so. I would love to hear from other married women and especially some men too to hear what you would do in a situation like this or if you have ever been confronted with something like this.
"Winners Versus Losers"
03.30.07 (8:33 pm) [edit]
The Winner is always a part of the answer;
The Loser is always a part of the problem. The Winner always has a program;
The Loser always has an excuse.
The Winner says, "Let me do it for you;"
The Loser says, "That's not my job."
The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
The Loser sees a problem in every answer.
The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it's possible;"
The Loser says, "It may be possible but it's too difficult."
11 Things You Won't Learn In School.
03.29.07 (2:34 am) [edit]
Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school.
Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually
have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
"Lie-Clock In Heaven"
03.28.07 (6:17 pm) [edit]
A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly
Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie the hands on your clock move."
"Oh", said the man "Whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's", replied St. Peter. "The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible" , said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" Peter responded,
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Hillary Clinton's clock?" asked the man.
"Hillary's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
"Not A Good Day"
03.27.07 (6:36 pm) [edit]
I got a big shock when I opened the store today. Money all over the floor and the usual signs that someone had broken into the store overnite. This is the 5th or 6th time that this has happened, I have lost count. Thank God that they only stole about $30.00. I didn't even bother to call the police this time even though the owner of the property wanted me to. A waste of my time and theirs. I am thankful that at least it's done when I am not there. The previous owner actually had someone come in doing store hrs. and rob her. I don't know how I would react to that.
"Mouse in The House"
03.26.07 (11:15 pm) [edit]
I am really afraid of mice, like most women are, but when I read the story of the mouse stealing the man's dentures, I couldn't help but laugh.
There's a mouse in Bill Exner's house that he says he has captured three times. Each time, the mouse escaped, and the last time the rodent made off with his lower dentures.
Exner, 68, said he and his wife Shirley scoured his bedroom after the dentures disappeared from his night stand.
"We moved the bed, moved the dressers and the night stand and tore the closet apart," he said. "I said, 'I knew that little stinker stole my teeth' _ I just knew it."
They found a small opening in a wall where they suspected the mouse was coming and going, and their daughter's fiance, Eric Holt, stepped in to help.
"He brought a crowbar and hammer and he sawed off a section of wood and pulled up the molding and everything," Exner said. "It was quite a job."
They retrieved the dentures, and Holt suggested his future father-in-law boil them in peroxide and whatever else he could find for to disinfect it.
The mouse apparently isn't done. It frequently comes out and stares at Exner, his wife said.
"He's taunting him _ I swear he's taunting him."
The next story is when the man caught the mouse and threw him on some burning leaves in the yard, big mistake the burning mouse ran into the house and the house burned to the ground.
I say keep some DCon mouse poison handy.
"WARNING TO ALL MEN"
03.25.07 (10:37 pm) [edit]
Beer contains female hormones :
Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men develop female characteristics.
To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.
"Antidotes For Depression"
03.25.07 (12:15 am) [edit]
An anti-depression kit contains the following : - An eraser, so you can make all your troubles disappear.
- A penny, so you never need to say you are broke.
- A marble, in case someone says you've lost all of yours.
- A rubber band, to stretch yourself beyond your limits.
- A string, to tie things together when everything falls apart.
- And hugs and kisses to remind you that someone, somewhere, cares.
"One Car, Slightly Used"
03.23.07 (10:45 pm) [edit]
Car for sale cheap:
You know we receive a lot of junk mail, well this piece was received by a friend.
The following is an actual advertisement in an Irish newspaper
Automobile for Sale: 1985 Blue Volkswagen
Only 50 miles. Only first gear and reverse ever used. Never driven hard.
Original tires.
Original brakes. Original fuel and oil Only 1 driver. Owner wishing to sell
due to employment lay-off.
Photo attached ---
"Green Tea And Cancer"
03.23.07 (10:02 pm) [edit]
Green tea helps reduce the risk of cancer. The antioxidant in green tea is 100 times more effective than vitamin C and 25 times better than vitamin E. This helps your body at protecting cells from damage believed to be linked to cancer.
2. Green Tea and Heart Disease
Green tea helps prevent heart disease and stroke by lowering the level of cholesterol. Even after the heart attack, it prevents cell deaths and speeds up the recovery of heart cells.
3. Green Tea and Anti-Aging
Green tea contains antioxidant known as polyphenols which fight against free radicals. What this means it helps you fight against aging and promotes longevity.
4. Green Tea and Weight Loss
Green tea helps with your body weight loss. Green tea burns fat and boosts your metabolism rate naturally. It can help you burn up to 70 calories in just one day. That translates to 7 pounds in one year.
5. Green Tea and Skin
Antioxidant in green tea protects the skin from the harmful effects of free radicals, which cause wrinkling and skin aging. Green tea also helps fight against skin cancer.
6. Green Tea and Arthritis
Green tea can help prevent and reduce the risk of rheumatoid arthritis. Green tea has benefit for your health as it protects the cartilage by blocking the enzyme that destroys cartilage.
7. Green Tea and Bones
The very key to this is high fluoride content found in green tea. It helps keep your bones strong. If you drink green tea every day, this will help you preserve your bone density.
8. Green Tea and Cholesterol
Green tea can help lower cholesterol level. It also improves the ratio of good cholesterol to bad cholesterol, by reducing bad cholesterol level.
9. Green Tea and Obesity
Green tea prevents obesity by stopping the movement of glucose in fat cells. If you are on a healthy diet, exercise regularly and drink green tea, it is unlikely you'll be obese.
10. Green Tea and Diabetes
Green tea improves lipid and glucose metabolisms, prevents sharp increases in blood sugar level, and balances your metabolism rate.
11. Green Tea and Alzheimer's
Green tea helps boost your memory. And although there's no cure for Alzheimer's, it helps slow the process of reduced acetylcholine in the brain, which leads to Alzheimer's.
12. Green Tea and Parkinson's
Antioxidants in green tea helps prevent against cell damage in the brain, which could cause Parkinson's. People drinking green tea also are less likely to progress with Parkinson's.
13. Green Tea and Liver Disease
Green tea helps prevent transplant failure in people with liver failure. Researches showed that green tea destroys harmful free radicals in fatty livers.
14. Green Tea and High Blood Pressure
Green tea helps prevent high blood pressure. Drinking green tea helps keep your blood pressure down by repressing angiotensin, which leads to high blood pressure.
15. Green Tea and Food Poisoning
Catechin found in green tea can kill bacteria which causes food poisoning and kills the toxins produced by those bacteria.
16. Green Tea and Blood Sugar
Blood sugar tends to increase with age, but polyphenols and polysaccharides in green tea help lower your blood sugar level.
17. Green Tea and Immunity
Polyphenols and flavenoids found in green tea help boost your immune system, making your health stronger in fighting against infections.
18. Green Tea and Cold and Flu
Green tea prevents you from getting a cold or flu. Vitamin C in green tea helps you treat the flu and the common cold.
19. Green Tea and Asthma
Theophylline in green tea relaxes the muscles which support the bronchial tubes, reducing the severity of asthma.
20. Green Tea and Ear Infection
Green tea helps with ear infection problem. For natural ear cleaning, soak a cutton ball in green tea and clean the infected ear.
21. Green Tea and Herpes
Green tea increases the effectiveness of topical interferon treatment of herpes. First green tea compress is applied, and then let the skin dry before the interferon treatment.
22. Green Tea and Tooth Decay
Green tea destroys bacteria and viruses that cause many dental diseases. It also slows the growth of bacteria which leads to bad breath.
23. Green Tea and Stress
L-theanine, which is a kind of amino acids in green tea, can help relieve stress and anxiety
24. Green Tea and Allergies
EGCG found in green tea relieves allergies. So, if you have allergies, you should really consider drinking green tea.
25. Green Tea and HIV
Scientists inJapanhave found that EGCG (Epigallocatechin Gallate) in green tea can stop HIV from binding to healthy immune cells. What this means is that green tea can help stop the HIV virus from spreading.
Now, your health is in your hands.
You know you're smart. So, start drinking three to four cups of green tea every day for a drug-free and healthier YOU!
"The Death Clock"
03.22.07 (5:45 pm) [edit]
Time is slowly slipping away. If you are interested in knowing the day that you are going to die then check out The Death Clock site.
This is a very interesting site because it gives you an approximate date of death, then it gives you healthful tips to extend that time if you are overweight etc.
Remember that it is all in fun because no man knows the actual date of anyone's death.
http://www.deathclock.com/index.cfm" title="http://www.deathclock.com/index.cfm" target="_blank"http://www.deathclock.com/ind...
"The Cookie Thief"
03.22.07 (12:12 am) [edit]
A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shops.
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be.
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.
So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,
As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, "If I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye."
With each cookie she took, he took one too,
When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half, as he ate the other,
She snatched it from him and thought... oooh, brother.
This guy has some nerve and he's also rude,
Why he didn't even show any gratitude!
She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.
She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,
Then she sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.
If mine are here, she moaned in despair,
The others were his, and he tried to share.
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.
How many times in our lives,
have we absolutely known
that something was a certain way,
only to discover later that
what we believed to be true ... was not?
BY:Valerie Cox
"To All The Kids"
03.21.07 (12:23 am) [edit]
TO ALL THE Kids
> WHO SURVIVED the
>
> 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!
> First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank
> while they were pregnant.
>
> They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and
> didn't get tested for diabetes.
>
> Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby
> cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
>
> We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and
> when we
>
> rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took
> hitchhiking
>
> As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats,
> booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
>
> Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special
> treat.
>
> We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
>
> We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and
> NO ONE actually died from this.
>
> We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made
> with sugar, but we weren't overweight because
>
> WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !
>
> We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we
> were back when the streetlights came on.
>
> No one was able to reach us all day.
>
> And we were O.K.
>
> We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then
> ride down
>
> the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into
> the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
>
> We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at
> all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-
> sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet
> or chat rooms.......
>
> WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
>
> We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
>
> lawsuits from these accidents.
>
> We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live
> in us forever.
>
> We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
>
> made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told
> it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
>
> We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door
> or rang
>
> the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
>
> Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who
> didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
>
> The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard
of.
>
> They actually sided with the law!
>
> These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem
> solvers and inventors ever!
>
> The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
>
> We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned.
"Children Not Safe Anywhere"
03.20.07 (12:50 am) [edit]
Protecting our children against sex offenders is a never ending fight. It seems that not a week goes by that the media is reporting another child molested. Now they are attending school.
A convicted sex offender attended at least two Arizona middle schools, sat through seventh-grade courses and turned in homework as he moved around the state pretending to be 12 years old, officials say.
Authorities in Yavapai County have accused Neil Havens Rodreick II, who is really 29, of assaulting a girl. They are not releasing details.
Rodreick was arrested last week after spending a day at the Mingus Springs Charter School in Chino Valley, about 90 miles northwest of Phoenix. School officials there called police after they checked what they called a phony birth certificate and other admissions documents.
The sheriff's office there said Rodreick conned two men he was living with and having sex with into believing he was a young boy. One of them, 61-year-old Lonnie Stiffler, called himself Rodreick's grandfather when he tried to enroll him at Mingus Springs as "Casey Price."
Officials at another school, in the Phoenix area, said they were reviewing their admissions policies to figure out how they could have let an adult sex offender mix with students for so long.
Rodreick showed up Aug. 14 at the Imagine School, officials said. He came to class from time to time, attending about 50 days until November, when administrators kicked him out for poor attendance.
"He was quiet," Cagle said of Rodreick. "He turned in his homework. There were no discipline issues. He was never sent to the principal's office. By most accounts he was aloof and kept to himself."
Authorities say Stiffler and Robert James Snow, 43, met Rodreick online, thinking he was a pre-teen, took him from Oklahoma to Arizona and carried on a sexual relationship with him. They were arrested after authorities served a search warrant at their Chino Valley home Thursday along with Brian J. Nellis, 34, a friend who authorities say followed Rodreick from Oklahoma to Arizona.
The Yavapai County attorney's office said it charged all three, along with Rodreick, with conspiracy to commit fraud and conspiracy to commit forgery. Nellis and Snow were also charged with failing to register as sex offenders.
Because Snow and Stiffler are accused of thinking they were having sex with a minor, they were charged with attempted child molestation and attempted sexual contact with a minor.
"The Dangers Of Baked Bread"
03.19.07 (12:28 am) [edit]
A recent Cincinnati headline reads, "Smell of Baked Bread may be health hazard." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. The main danger, apparently, is that the organic components of this aroma may break down ozone (I'm not making this stuff up).
When are we going to do something about bread- induced global warming? Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Big Bread?
Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice....
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!
6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low occurrence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after only two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:
1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. No advertising of bread within 1000 feet of a school.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. A $4.2 zillion fine on the three biggest bread manufacturers. After doing more research on this piece. I found out that this is one of the many urban legends spread throughout the net since 1998.
According to Snopes.
"Don't Say This To A Cop"
03.16.07 (1:59 am) [edit]
"Top 20 things not to say"
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
"The Meanest Mother In The World."
03.14.07 (11:53 pm) [edit]
I was raised by my grandmother and there were times that I thought that she was the meanest grandmother in the world. When I read this story It brought back a lot of memories.
I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate
candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others
had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can
guess, my supper was different than the other kids' also.
But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sister and two
brothers had the same mean mother as I did.
My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd
think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and
where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that
we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute. I am nearly
ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each
time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was
used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy's pants. Can you
imagine someone actualy hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now
you can begin to see how mean she really was.
We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always
wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because
she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we
have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?
The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night
and up at eight the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our
friends. So while they slept-my mother actually had the nerve to break
the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make
beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid
awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.
She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth, even if it killed us- and it nearly did.
By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life
became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for
us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates
and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a
girlfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really
there. I never had the chance to elope to Mexico. That is if I'd had a
boyfriend to elope with. I forgot to mention, while my friends were
dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused
to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you
dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year.
Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie
in bed, "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends
had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home
from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends'
report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for
failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for
nothing less than ugly black marks.
As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put
to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind
us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the
pleasure of being a drop-out.
My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four
children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us
have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my
brothers served his time in the service of this country. And whom do we
have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our
mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We never got to
take part in a riot, burn draft cards, burn the flag, and a
million and one other things that our friends did.
She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults.
Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three
children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my
children call me mean.
Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.
written by Bobbie Pingaro (1967)
"I Love Myself The Way I am"
03.14.07 (1:12 am) [edit]
I love myself the way I am, there's nothing I need to change.
I'll always be the perfect me, there's nothing to rearrange.
I'm beautiful and capable, of being the best me I can.
And I love myself, just the way I am. I love you the way you are, there's nothing you need to do.
When I feel the love inside, it's easy to love you.
Behind your fears, your rage and tears, I see your shining star.
And I love you, just the way your are.
I love the world the way it is, cause I can clearly see.
That all the things I judge are done, by people just like me.
So 'til the birth of peace on earth, that only love can bring.
I'll help it grow, by loving everything.
I love myself the way I am, and I still want to grow.
But change outside can only come, when deep inside I know.
I'm beautiful and capable, of being the best me I can.
And I love myself, just the way I am.
20 Ways To Maintain Your Level Of Insanity
03.13.07 (12:47 am) [edit]
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair
Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with
that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over
Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera
13. Go To A Poetry Rec ital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All
Day.
15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party
Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To
Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy! Level Of Insanity.......Do Not Send This
E-mail To 20 people!
It's Called! Therapy.
Medical Marijuana vs. Pain Pills
03.12.07 (12:54 am) [edit]
What do you think about a grandma smoking marijuana to ease the pain? I was so shocked to read this that I am sharing it for your opinion.
A weed that eases pain and won't cause you to suffer with a greasy discharge.
You would not believe the number of people men and women alike I find in here who's regular trips to the doctors includes the doctor issuing more damned pills.
Pills that weaken the immune system...pills that affect your liver...pills that make you eat more, pills that make you eat less, sleep longer or not sleep at all. Seems if you can describe it, our friendly neighborhood Dr., can prescribe you a pill for it.
Well, My Grandma is 73 and was taking 17 pills a day (prescribed) and seemed to gain weight via water. Her long time friend of 60 years, introduced her to Marijuana a year or so ago. Now, she takes no pain pills whatsoever. She no longer takes a pill to urge her appetite along, and she has lost weight (fluids) because some of the pills she was taking caused her to retain some weight.
She gets out more and has more fun in her life with less pain.
Her Doctor never once screamed at her when he found Marijuana in her labs, instead he asked how she was doing and if it helped her and how. He did not tell her to quit and moreover did not tell her that it was harmful in anyway.
I was surprised until I recently talked to him and what he said was that I have been able to take your Grandmother off of 9 medications since she began smoking marijuana, she appears healthy, happy and is moving around more, getting out to do things and has a healthy outlook on life. He gave me no "dangers" of her smoking marijuana and indicated that in his opinion, if it gets her out and moving, eating and being happy with no adverse medical ramifications that is obvious from her marijuana use, then he believes she is better off smoking a little weed, than the multitude of pills she was taking.
In the short of it...she has less pain...is more active...isn't retaining fluids...and is happier in spirit...let her live and be happy.
Thus...Grandma is smiling and more Grandma than ever...we see her more often and she is in good spirits. (She is 73 and happily looking to many more years now, depression in Grandma appears long gone from just a year ago when she was simply getting old and getting ready to give up). We love ya Grandma.
"True Friendship"
03.10.07 (10:22 pm) [edit]
Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!) Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just the stone cold truth of our friendship. 1 When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. 9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask?, "Because you are my friend".
Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me...I don't want to hear it!!!) And remember....when life hands you Lemons, get some tequila and salt and call me in the morning.
Unbelievable Math Problem
03.09.07 (8:49 pm) [edit]
Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you.
Grab a calculator.(you won't be able to do this one in your head)
1. Key in the first three digits of your phone number(not the area code)
2. Multiply by 80
3. Add 1
4. Multiply by 250
5. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again
7. Subtract 250
8. Divide number by 2
Do you recognize the answer??
I had to do it twice to believe it....
Do Good Looking People Achieve More In Life?
03.08.07 (11:53 pm) [edit]
I recently read a story about people that are good looking acheive more in life. Not because of how smart they are or because of their great work performance but because of how beautiful or handsome they are.
It states that people who are well groomed, attractive, thin and in shape receive higher paying jobs and make more money.
This means that if an average-looking person earned $50,000 per annum, their better-looking co-workers would make $52,500 per annum, while their least attractive colleagues brought home just over $45,800 per annum.
The research also concluded that more attractive workers get more promotions than plain-looking ones.
It has been observed that appearance can affect your confidence and communication, hence your productivity. This could be a reason why some employers choose to promote the more striking employees over the plain ones. I think that it's an unfair practice , but it is reality.
" Mental Health Hotline"
03.07.07 (11:03 pm) [edit]
(Answering machine message---"Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline...)
>If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
>If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
>If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, and 5.
>If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
>If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
>If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
>If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press--no one will answer.
>If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969696969
>If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
>If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
>If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 000
>If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
>If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
>If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
*I OWE MY MOTHER*
03.06.07 (12:10 am) [edit]
1. *_My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE _*.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. *_My mother taught me RELIGION_*.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. *_My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL_*.
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. *_My mother taught me LOGIC _*
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. *_My mother taught me MORE LOGIC_* .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."
6. *_My mother taught me FORESIGHT _*.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. *_My mother taught me IRONY
_" *Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. *_My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS_*.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. *_My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM _*.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. *_My mother taught me about STAMINA_*.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. *_My mother taught me about WEATHER_*.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. *_My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY_*.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. *_My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE _*.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. *_My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION _*.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. *_My mother taught me about ENVY_*.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. *_My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION _*.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. *_My mother taught me about RECEIVING _*.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. *_My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE_*.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. *_My mother taught me ESP_*.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. *_My mother taught me HUMOR _*.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. *_My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT_*.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. *_My mother taught me GENETICS_*
"You're just like your father."
23. *_My mother taught me about my ROOTS _*.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. *_My mother taught me WISDOM_*.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: *_My mother taught me about JUSTICE_*.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
"F A M I L Y"
03.05.07 (2:03 am) [edit]
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
What Is A Tblog Friend?'
03.04.07 (2:07 am) [edit]
A tblog friend is one that you find here and feel a connection to even though you have never met in person and may never meet.
A friend is someone that knows all about you and love you anyway.
A friend is someone you feel affection or love for.
A tblog friend is one that you care about and you check his or her blog to see if they are allright and if they posted anything new, if so you try to leave a comment of some kind.
Sometime we don't always like the comment or we might not like what was posted by our friend but that's alright. We don't have to agree with everything that our friends say because we are like a family and families disagree sometime.
If our friend say that she is sick, needs to have surgery or death in the family. I have noticed different responses and they are all good, if you believe in prayer, then i say I am praying for you, when in doubt, say you are in my thoughts.
I f we know that our friend post everyday or at least three times a week and it has been two weeks, someone should care enough to tmail that person and say, missing you , hope all is well. if you don't want to go that route, ask a friend that you think they are close with. Let's care for one another.
A friend is very happy when their friend is on the hot blog list, none of the green eved monster rearing it's ugly head stuff, I am amazed to hear that people won't comment on a blog because they might be helping someone to move up the list, that is not a friend,
A tblog friend will only visit a blog but not comment if you know that this person is sensitive, no one needs their day spoiled by some stupid comment. Remember if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
Finally, it is not nice to tell someone that they mispelled a word or didn't have a sentence in the correct order, this is not an english class, this is tblog.
please add your thoughts as to what a tblog friend is as I am tired and can't think of anymore.
"Signs We’re Living in the 21st Century"
03.02.07 (1:46 am) [edit]
• You just tried to enter your password into your coffee pot.
• You have a list of 20 phone numbers to reach four family members.
• You call your son’s cell to let him know it’s time eat... he texts back from his bedroom asking, “What’s for dinner?’
• Your daughter sells fund raising candy bars via her website.
• You pull into your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone’s home.
• You chat several times a day with a stranger in Canada, but haven’t spoken with your next door neighbor in months.
• Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
